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The Pillsbury Company regrets to announce the death of Doughboy at the age of 71. He passed away yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies and Captain Crunch.

The gravesite was piled high with flours. Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded.

Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes.

Despite being a little flaky at times, as a crusty old man, he was still considered as a roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, two children, John Dough and Jane Dough. They also have a bun in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.